somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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