She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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