so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
