remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
