Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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