I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
