just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
