I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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