So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
