The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
