Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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