ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
