his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
