I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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