I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
