I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
