Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
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I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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