so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
