we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
