i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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