Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
