dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
