New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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