Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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