just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
