But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
