We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
