somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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