Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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