do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
