I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
