hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
