"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
