dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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