i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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