dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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