This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
