morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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