tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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