My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
