That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
