U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
