honey bunches of taint.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
