she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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