More tranny stories later!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Four minutes until I can fart!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So many bounce houses so little time
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
