i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
