After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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