I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
