Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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