oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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