I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize