Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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