Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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