i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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