Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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