worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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