If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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