Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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