i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
