I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
