Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
