Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
