how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
