she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
